I have a confession. I wasn't much of a foodie before. In fact, I tried my best not to eat. Yes, I was scared of getting fat and I eventually became anorexic.
Peer pressure played a big role on how I became one. I was perfectly happy with my rather round figure in middle school but it all changed when I had to move to an all girls school. It felt like a different world where you needed to conform to survive. It was a jungle where I had to get rid of what would make me a desirable target to predators. In short, it was just like Mean Girls, only, I experienced it 4 years before the hit movie was released.
In between skipping meals and trying to be just like majority, I hated myself. I began to describe myself as F.U.D. or fat, ugly and dumb. And my low self esteem just made me an easier target to bullies. And yes, that made me hate myself even more.
It was when I was hospitalized for being too acidic did I realize that the things I have been doing were wrong. I was wearing a white hospital gown when I, after several months, saw the person I turned to. An unhappy (and unhealthy) person. The reason why I struggle to have friends in my then new school was because I couldn’t even bring myself to be my own friend. I was mean and unforgiving to my shortcomings. I refused to acknowledge my own quirks and what makes me different. Instead, I struggled to be just like everyone else. And it took a health scare for me to embrace and make peace with myself.
The road to recovery and self rediscovery was memorable. I began to eat again and it felt great not to deprive one’s self of things I want to enjoy. I opened myself to the things I am passionate about and gave myself time to learn what I love to do. I became myself’s biggest supporter. I push myself to be a better person each day and give myself a pat whenever I have accomplished something great.
And because I have learned to be kinder and nicer to myself, I became more confident and explored to try other things. I began to join organizations and even competitions.
I created a public blog despite being exposed to the judgmental world which includes trolls, grammar nazis and what-have-you. I didn’t care though as I was secured with myself and that I do not post anything that I do not believe in.
I have learned to love myself and in the process, I began to open myself to love and cherish others, may it be platonic or romantically.
Well, there is one tiny thing I am rather harsh with myself… in taking photos. As a dedicated food blogger, I want to capture the delectable dishes I eat in its most photogenic state. However, there are times when no matter how pretty the dishes are plated, I simply could not capture it with my mobile phone. But thanks to Huawei P9 powered with Leica camera, I could effortlessly take beautiful shots. With a press of a button, I could even take striking and dramatic shots worthy to be featured in a magazine. I think I just developed a long lasting friendship with Huawei. Goodbye grainy photos and heavy cameras!
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that friendship is not restricted to at least two individuals. We always think that friendship entails two persons who mutually respect and to some extent love each other. We fail to realize that all friendships are a result of strong friendship with one’s self. You could not be friends with others if you could not be a friend to yourself. My experiences sure changed the way I see friendship.